I'm going to be honest, I don't exactly know where to start with this.
My name is Karissa, I'm 26 & currently reside in the wonderful city of St Louis, MO. I love cooking & desperately want to go to culinary school, but money is keeping that from happening right now. I've always been a shy, reserved person & this blog is my attempt to break myself of that. Well here goes nothing. . .
I'm starting this blog because, quite frankly, I'm unhappy with myself. I have been as long as I can remember. I've always been the fat girl-from elementary school to junior high, junior high to high school, and now in this weird twenty-something era I find myself in. I've never been one to stand up for myself. My oldest school time memories consist of mockery & teasing. I've always been the easy one to pick on.
After awhile I became so complacent, I just didn't care anymore. No matter how nice I was, I got the same old taunts, the same insults, over & over again. Whether it was from James Neumeyer (if you ever meet him, feel free to give him a swift kick to the balls for me), my father or someone else along the way, I just began to ignore it. Each time hurt just as worse as the former, but that was my way of coping. Here I am, years later with the same state of mind & the same tactics to dealing with my insecurity.
A little over 7 years ago I became a vegetarian. The music scene I was involved in heavily advocated the lifestyle & after several of my friends made the switch, I did too. Its a choice that I'm proud of & a cause continue to support. Back when I made the switch, I just assumed that taking that route would help me lose weight. But I was a bad vegetarian. Boca burgers + macaroni & cheese do not = healthy.
Over the years I have adapted my eating habits & I do believe I make MUCH better food choices that I used to, I even briefly went vegan for about 6 months 3 years ago. But let's face it, I love cheese too much. It doesn't matter how much celery I eat if I binge on a pizza or eat a whole pot of macaroni & cheese when my roommate isn't home. Emotional eating is my downfall. If I have a bad day at work, I swing by Little Caesar's on the way home. If I'm out with friends & go home feeling rejected, then I raid the fridge when I get home & blame it on being drunk. I know all too well what I'm doing.
This is my attempt to stop the cycle. My friend Emily started a blog last year & I've been keeping up with her journey, even though we live 6 hours apart. We've been friends for 8 years now & I think have been in a similar situation, but somehow managed to never talk about it. She has been such an encouragement & inspiration to me in recent months without knowing it. She's on her way to changing her life & I only hope I can do half as well as she has.
So onto the purpose of this blog.
I'm known to procrastinate & in recent years to not follow through with what I set out to do. Hey if no one knows what I've set out to do, then I can't disappoint anyone, now can I? My intention with this blog is to share what I'm doing, share my goals with my friends & whoever else along the way, so I can't hide it all anymore.
I want to lose weight.
I want to be proud of myself.
I want to share my story.
Alright, I suppose I have been long-winded enough with this first entry, but I hope that anyone that reads this will give me any encouragement they can & help keep me accountable. Its going to be tough, but I think I'm ready.
