Sunday, September 4, 2011

kaleidoscope heart

I've been trying to write this post for 2 months.  I've opened up Blogger, written a bit, but never got across what I wanted to say.  Tried again the next week, the next month.  Nothing.  I haven't had the time, energy, effort or strength to try any harder. 

I've been burnt out.

The last week or so I've felt different.  Not that everything in my life is magically fixed now (will it ever?), but I feel in control for the moment.  In charge of the chaos, let's say.

In the last 2 months :
My phone was stolen.
Somehow hurt my shoulder to the point I couldn't lift anything.
My living situation became intolerable.
I hastily moved to a new place.
Aggravated a recurring knee injury while moving.
I turned 27.
Finished 6 months without fast food.
Blew that on a visit to Little Caesars after a bad day.
Felt like a stranger in my own home.
Went for not one, but 2 promotions at work I didn't get.
Got stood up.

And that's not everything, but all I'll disclose for now.  Needless to say, the past 2 months sucked.  I did let my emotions & old habits get the best of me a bit, but overall I think I stayed in control (minus that week or so of avoiding the gym like the plague).

Today isn't official weigh-in day or anything but I want to attach some numbers to where I've been the last 2 months.  Last time I updated here I was at 234.5 after a 3 lb gain that week.  Today I was at 220 even.  That brings me to 66 lbs total that I've lost in the last 8 months & I can't be upset about that, right?

I've had a great last week or so in general.  I've felt like nothing can bring me down. 

Since I like lists here is what is putting a smile on face :
I have an awesome new opportunity at work I can hopefully get.
Registered for Warrior Dash on October 15th!
I got a call for an interview at SweetArt (my favorite local restaurant)
Had a delightful dinner with a super nice guy who loves Saves The Day as much as I do. 

Its the little things.

I'll leave you with these lyrics from Sara Bareilles.  She rules.

All the colors of the rainbow, hidden 'neath my skin
Hearts have colors, don't we all know.
Red runs through our veins.
Feel the fire burning up, inspire me with blood of blue & green
I have hope
Inside is not a heart, but a kaleidoscope