Wednesday, January 12, 2011

An Introduction. . .

I'm going to be honest, I don't exactly know where to start with this.

My name is Karissa, I'm 26 & currently reside in the wonderful city of St Louis, MO.  I love cooking & desperately want to go to culinary school, but money is keeping that from happening right now.  I've always been a shy, reserved person & this blog is my attempt to break myself of that.  Well here goes nothing. . .

I'm starting this blog because, quite frankly, I'm unhappy with myself.  I have been as long as I can remember.  I've always been the fat girl-from elementary school to junior high, junior high to high school, and now in this weird twenty-something era I find myself in.  I've never been one to stand up for myself.  My oldest school time memories consist of mockery & teasing.  I've always been the easy one to pick on.  

After awhile I became so complacent, I just didn't care anymore.  No matter how nice I was, I got the same old taunts, the same insults, over & over again.  Whether it was from James Neumeyer (if you ever meet him, feel free to give him a swift kick to the balls for me), my father or someone else along the way, I just began to ignore it.  Each time hurt just as worse as the former, but that was my way of coping.  Here I am, years later with the same state of mind & the same tactics to dealing with my insecurity. 

A little over 7 years ago I became a vegetarian.  The music scene I was involved in heavily advocated the lifestyle & after several of my friends made the switch, I did too.  Its a choice that I'm proud of & a cause continue to support.  Back when I made the switch, I just assumed that taking that route would help me lose weight.  But I was a bad vegetarian.  Boca burgers + macaroni & cheese do not = healthy.

Over the years I have adapted my eating habits & I do believe I make MUCH better food choices that I used to, I even briefly went vegan for about 6 months 3 years ago.  But let's face it, I love cheese too much.  It doesn't matter how much celery I eat if I binge on a pizza or eat a whole pot of macaroni & cheese when my roommate isn't home.  Emotional eating is my downfall.  If I have a bad day at work, I swing by Little Caesar's on the way home.  If I'm out with friends & go home feeling rejected, then I raid the fridge when I get home & blame it on being drunk.  I know all too well what I'm doing.

This is my attempt to stop the cycle.  My friend Emily started a blog last year & I've been keeping up with her journey, even though we live 6 hours apart.  We've been friends for 8 years now & I think have been in a similar situation, but somehow managed to never talk about it.  She has been such an encouragement & inspiration to me in recent months without knowing it.  She's on her way to changing her life & I only hope I can do half as well as she has.

So onto the purpose of this blog.

I'm known to procrastinate & in recent years to not follow through with what I set out to do.  Hey if no one knows what I've set out to do, then I can't disappoint anyone, now can I?  My intention with this blog is to share what I'm doing, share my goals with my friends & whoever else along the way, so I can't hide it all anymore.
I want to lose weight.
I want to be proud of myself.
I want to share my story.

Alright, I suppose I have been long-winded enough with this first entry, but I hope that anyone that reads this will give me any encouragement they can & help keep me accountable.  Its going to be tough, but I think I'm ready.



  1. I can't wait to read more love! You are an amazing person and I know you can do whatever want when you set your mind to it. :)

  2. Hello!

    Blogging is extremely therapeutic with the whole trying-to-get-healthy thing. I'm excited to read your thoughts!


  3. Welcome! You are so ready, you started a blog girl! Only the bravest do that. Welcome to an amazing community, filled with so much spirit and support it could change the world!

  4. I'll support you one hundred percent. I've always liked you, and always thought you deserved the best. I really had no idea anyone would ever be mean to you. You've always been ridiculously sweet. Good luck!

  5. I can't wait to read about your journey!! You're fabulous girl, don't ever think any differently!

  6. wow, karissa. i expected this to be..i don't know. i guess because i'm not very good at opening up, i expected you not to. i'm into it. i mean, i'm not vegetarian, but as long as the ingredients are kept to a minimum, i'm following this. i'm really proud of you. okay i don't know what to write, cause it's more emotional than i expected. i'll talk to you after work. love, your emotionally stunted carnivore friend.

  7. I absolutely believe in you, Karissa. High school and grade school were not good times for me either. I have never been cool or accepted or had a group to call my own. I'm insecure as fuck. But I've come a long way since high school and I continue to progress every day. I'm always here for you. I have actually had some severe eating problems myself, too. I understand where you are coming from, more than you know!

    <3 KDC

  8. omg yay! i love you lady! this is so so good. i'm so proud of you! i'm kinda speechless actually. haha. i'll be behind you all the way! :)